IV: Valerian
The emperor who wound up as a foot stool.
Good morning. Today is quartidi, the 24th of Floréal, Year CCXXXI. We celebrate la valériane, a flower whose root we're all invested in believing makes us sleepy.
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Of all the herbs that have a traditional medicinal claim modern science has been unable to validate, valerian asserts its the most strongly. The name itself is Latin for "healthy and strong," and it's been used since time immemorium as a relaxant and a sleep aid. On the sleep aid front, which is how it's typically marketed, there's absolutely no evidence it can do anything beyond a placebo's soothing. As for a relaxant, those properties are there, but in the form of a depressant, and a large dose of valerian taken with another depressant drug like alcohol or opiates can heighten their effects. In other words, it won't help you sleep, but it can definitely make you pass out.
The third century was a wild one for Rome. Emperors rarely lasted for more than a few years, enemies attacked from all sides, and the capital itself was divided on matters of religion as upstart Christians started to convert citizens away from the state religion. Into this fray stepped Emperor Valerian (the first), a man who seemed incapable of making a wise decision.